Its almost 9 pm. I have had my dinner, and a snack, and drank plenty of water to fill me up.
I am not hungry. My stomach tells me so.
But my brain, oh my brain tells me otherwise. It tells me "You need that Taco Bell. Its just a taco or two. Go on, you have had a rough day. " This is what has been going through my brain for the past hour. Seriously. I keep stopping to pick up the phone, text my husband, tell him " Hey um so on your way home how about getting me some Taco Bell."
And then I stop. And I tell myself NO NO NO. Not only do you not need it, but you are not hungry. Its just your cravings kicking in. I want it. I want it bad. I want to just call up Taco Bell and tell them to put one of everything on their menu on order and Ill be there in a jiffy to pick it up.
I hate nights like this. I am so frustrated. Especially since today was an overall bad eating day in general. I have been craving anything and everything my fingers can get ahold of. I have went over my calorie goal by 600 calories today. In my defense i did clean which burned 702 calories so I actually still have calories left that I am supposed to consume ( not burn off) in a day.
And I try to ration with myself that I have these extra calories and they are there for me to consume. With Taco Bell of course. Its rational. It is reasonable.
I hate nights like this. Nights I wish i was already at my goal weight so i could just give in and have that Taco Bell. Its not one of those " Oh you have to indulge a little" days either. I have already indulged too much today. Im not depriving myself of anything, because I know its not good for me for one, and I know i dont need it for another. I just want it.
I think it might be bedtime. Otherwise I might start chewing on my couch. :/
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